Tolerating Our Day

Today was rough.  It just was plain, old rough.  It was the first day in 20 days that Jip wasn't around for at least part of the day, and RJ was sure to remind me of that fact every few minutes.  I lost track of how many times I heard, "Mom, when's Dad coming home?"  RJ told me a number of times that he was sad because he missed Dad.  Just before 6, Jip still wasn't home, and RJ started telling Ryleigh, who was cranky, that it would be okay because Dad would be home soon.  I knew where I stood today.  Actually, I think I probably stand there quite a bit, but I was painfully aware of my second-class mommyhood status today. 

RJ asking about Dad all day long is nothing new.  I've gotten quite used to it and it doesn't bother me--he loves his Dad and likes him to be around.  When Jip took RJ to Eric's fire station, Jip got to hear the opposite.  "Where's Mom?  I want Mom."  So, I know how my kid rolls.  But, it wasn't the constant inquiry into Jip's whereabouts that made the day barely tolerable.  It was the fact that our mostly potty-trained child decided to untrain himself in the last few days and continued his backslide today. 

While we were in Colorado, we noticed a damp pull-up here and there, but we brushed it off as being excited to see his cousins or being distracted by some serious playing, so no biggie.  Then again on the airplane, more wet pull-ups.  Still no big deal--after all, traveling is hard.  But, then over the weekend, wet pull-up after wet pull-up.  And, RJ wouldn't tell us.  We would discover it when we were helping him button his pants after what we thought was fully going to the potty.  We think he was starting to wet his pull-up and then stop himself and go to the potty, but only sometimes.  Other times, it was a full-on wet experience.  We wondered if the pull-ups were becoming a crutch and he knew he could take advantage of the protection they provided.  So, we decided that it was back to big boy underwear.  I decided I could tolerate washing extra underwear--plus I was hoping that going back to big boy underwear would make RJ take the final plunge and finish off the potty-training once and for all.  Wrong again.

When I thought I could tolerate the extra washing, I was anticipating an extra dirty pair each day.  But today, not only did I have the extra dirty pair, I also had 3 other pair and 4 pair of pants.  By 4 pm, I had had it.  I was so frustrated that I employed a new technique--no underwear.  I was out of clean pants (I didn't want to put RJ to have on shorts today), so RJ went sans underwear until it was time for his bath.  No underwear/pants during the afternoon snack.  No underwear/pants for dinner.  I'm super glad Jip didn't surprise me with a dinner guest, as I'm not sure how I would have explained my son in the polo shirt without anything on his nether regions.  RJ managed to make it to the potty every time, though, so maybe it worked. 

At least I did have a cute moment in all of this self-pity I was feeling today.  Lately, RJ has been telling us about things that scare him--dogs, the dark, etc.  So, I took to saying, "Don't be scared.  I'm here with you."  Today when I was sitting on the steps with my head in my hands after the 3rd or 4th clothing change, RJ said, "Mom, don't be mad.  I'm here with you."  How can I be mad after that?

We'll see how it goes tomorrow.  It's back to underwear in the morning, as his pants will all be clean and ready.  I'm hoping for more than tolerating our day tomorrow.  Maybe only 2 or 3 changes of clothes will happen tomorrow, and I can be content with the day.  And by the end of the week, maybe I can enjoy the day alone with my kids again.